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348 replies
Geriatricmillenial · 15/08/2024 18:01
I love my children and they do bring joy, but I get this thought in my head sometimes.
The conditions of the spell would have to be that I had no knowledge of my children whatsoever, I would just go back in time to before they were born and make dramatically different choices.
I get the impression a lot of the other mums I know don’t really feel this way, so is it just me?
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BonnieBonnieBanks · 15/08/2024 18:02
Nah. Not saying it’s always easy but I wouldn’t be without them for a second
LetsGetOutOfHere · 15/08/2024 18:03
Mine are at an age where the answer would be no thanks.
Elbone · 15/08/2024 18:04
But if you had no knowledge of them ever existing, you’d just immediately start trying for them surely?
I wouldn’t change a thing. They’re best thing I’ve ever done.
Sunshineandrainbow · 15/08/2024 18:04
Yes now I have had them I can't make them disappear.... But if I had my life again I wouldn't have children which is hard to say. But having been a single parent for 23 years it's so tough rasing kids in a single income house and not just financially I mean emotionally as well.
PrincessPeache · 15/08/2024 18:05
Nope, life isn’t always easy with a disabled child but it would be dull without him. I can’t imagine a more fulfilled life without him.
Hatty65 · 15/08/2024 18:06
Hmm. Mine are all adult now, but I do sometimes think that if I had my time over again I wouldn't have had children. I don't actually want them wiped from the face of the earth - just that I suspect I had a family because that's what you did, without ever actually thinking whether I might have been perfectly happy without children.
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EsmeSusanOgg · 15/08/2024 18:06
Elbone · 15/08/2024 18:04
But if you had no knowledge of them ever existing, you’d just immediately start trying for them surely?
I wouldn’t change a thing. They’re best thing I’ve ever done.
Same. Only possible change is actually sort dating my lovely DH a couple of years earlier and maybe have time for a third kid?
Seriously, they are wonderful. I am often tired. But I would never go back to not having them.
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Berlinlover · 15/08/2024 18:07
PrincessPeache · 15/08/2024 18:05
Nope, life isn’t always easy with a disabled child but it would be dull without him. I can’t imagine a more fulfilled life without him.
Life without children isn’t dull.
Boopbeepbeepboop · 15/08/2024 18:07
No way.
Peakpeakpeak · 15/08/2024 18:08
f*ck no. I'd keep mine.
FanofLeaves · 15/08/2024 18:08
Christ, no, not in a million years.
But I’m very happy with only one. Not risking rolling the dice again and thinking I’ll be even happier with two, because I suspect that wouldn’t be the case and that’s something that can’t be undone.
FrogNToad · 15/08/2024 18:08
My kids are still small and cute, so that might make a difference, but no. I couldn't be without them now.
MissingKitty · 15/08/2024 18:08
Absolutely not. If I could wave a magic wand and go back I’d have a third, I found the baby and toddler stage so hard that it put me off, but now they’re both 7+ I’d love to have had more of them (single mum now though)
MrsEmmelinePankhurst · 15/08/2024 18:09
It’s not just you OP. I’d make the same choice as you, as long as I had absolutely no inkling of their existence.
Blankfaced · 15/08/2024 18:09
My god no. My life would be sh*t without my daughter. Shes the love of my life 🥰
Notmydaughteryoubitch · 15/08/2024 18:09
Nope I will keep my DD, life is so much happier and richer with her in it.
Flossyts · 15/08/2024 18:10
I don’t object to the kids per se, I love them to pieces, but rather I take issue with what I have to do to look after them. I feel like my magic wish would be a live in nanny and housekeeper 🤷♀️
RexMyDarling · 15/08/2024 18:10
If I lost my daughter I’d kill myself. She’s 9. She has no idea that I feel this way and I wouldn’t never let on.
She is my third IVF, and the first IVF went badly wrong and I nearly died and ended up in a coma and in hospital for ages. She was eventually born at 26 weeks and we spent 12 weeks in nicu watching her fight for her life. When she was 4 she suffered a fit and breathed in salvia, nearly dying again. As they tried to resuscitate her repeatedly in front of my eyes I said to my husband if she didn’t make it I wouldn’t be around for long.
She can be demanding and grumpy, she has ASD and ADHD. She’s probably quite spoiled.
But even a second without her in my life now would be my idea of hell on earth. So if someone offered me your wand I’d run away as fast as I could.
x2boys · 15/08/2024 18:10
PrincessPeache · 15/08/2024 18:05
Nope, life isn’t always easy with a disabled child but it would be dull without him. I can’t imagine a more fulfilled life without him.
Same both my children have their challenges and my youngest has very complex needs but I couldn't be without either of them
And i always wanted children
WearyAuldWumman · 15/08/2024 18:10
Can I have the magic wand that gives me children please?
Elbone · 15/08/2024 18:10
EsmeSusanOgg · 15/08/2024 18:06
Same. Only possible change is actually sort dating my lovely DH a couple of years earlier and maybe have time for a third kid?
Seriously, they are wonderful. I am often tired. But I would never go back to not having them.
Elbone · 15/08/2024 18:04
But if you had no knowledge of them ever existing, you’d just immediately start trying for them surely?
I wouldn’t change a thing. They’re best thing I’ve ever done.
I was 30 when I had my first. I spent my whole teens and twenties feeling so disjointed, unsure of myself, unfulfilled and insecure.
I have a MA and never felt what I was doing was “good enough”.
I don’t have good relationships with my parents and having my own family and a happy marriage has given me love and contentment that I’ve never experienced before.
Dragonsandcats · 15/08/2024 18:13
Absolutely no way, my kids are the best thing that have ever happened in my life.
LetsGetOutOfHere · 15/08/2024 18:13
Elbone · 15/08/2024 18:04
But if you had no knowledge of them ever existing, you’d just immediately start trying for them surely?
I wouldn’t change a thing. They’re best thing I’ve ever done.
Yes I'd say bum I'm over 40, why haven't I got down to it yet!
potatocrates · 15/08/2024 18:13
I’d do it to my DH’s children.
Cobblersorchard · 15/08/2024 18:14
Oh gosh, no! I very nearly didn’t have my daughter as was convinced I didn’t like kids. Had my DD at 41 and it was the best decision ever. I get quite teary at times when I think about not having her.
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